Crime
by Ryuuen Chou
Summary: A fic about Omi's mother, Kikuno. She repents for her crimes in the only way she knows how. But will she regret it? Spoilers, suicide, dark themes Winner of Assassionata's Fanfiction Contest for Best Tragedy!


Crime  
  
By Ryuuen  
  
Warnings: Mature/dark themes. SPOILERS for Omi's past.  
  
A/N: I think this is a new idea. A fic about Kikuno... Omi's mother. (and Hirofumi and Masafumi's mom, too, but we'll forget about them, okay?) Anyways, before I risk too long an author's note, please read and review. C&Cs are welcome.  
  
Note: The song is "Crime", by Megumi Ogata.  
  
Crime  
  
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~"The trembling night winds pass by with a whisper, as if it blows out the flame deep within my heart. How I tried to keep myself fooled by putting on those chains, and now they're all ashes."~  
  
A sad smile reached the lips of the one who stood before the cradle, looking down at her infant son. She saw his eyes, bright blue like her own, open slowly and look up at her, and she put a finger to her lips to let him know to be quiet. Smart child that he was, Mamoru obeyed. She reached down gently and put her hand on his tiny shoulder, then leaned in and kissed his forehead.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mamoru.." She whispered, her voice like his would grow to be, light, but with the weight of sadness that made the words always seem to be sincere. "I am so sorry. I hope someday you'll forgive me for this."  
  
With that, she was gone through the door, and to the child in the cradle, it was as though she had stolen all the warmth from the room, as well.  
  
~"My former self is crying in the mirror. The juvenile smile will never return."~  
  
She had no way to know how her choice would influence the world. She had no way of knowing that her son, her smallest son, the one born of love, not marraige, would be kidnapped, that he would become an assassain and kill both of his brothers, and his father. She had no way of knowing how horrible a world it would be for her son, because of her choice. If she had, she might not have done such a thing, but no one can see what the future will bring. Her blue eyes held such sadness, she felt she could not stand it for a moment longer. And so she left. She went to the shrine where she used to pray, before her marraige. The shrine in front of which she and Shuiichi would sometimes meet. The coil of rope in her left hand seemed suddenly heavy, and she felt as if the world were trying to trap her, and crush her. Relentless, though, she kept going. She wouldn't give up now. She had to get out.  
  
~"I don't care if I collapse as long as I can crumble this feeling with me. If my crime pours on me and only me... The pouring rain is probably the storm within my heart. There is no way to sink this crime, the only way is to keep praying."~  
  
She remembered his smiling face, the blush that had stained his cheeks when he told her that he loved her... but that love could no longer exist. Surely, it could not. These were her thoughts as she stood on the wooden chair, stringing thick rope around the rafters. She would never see Shuiichi again, although she hoped he wouldn't be too saddened by what she was about to do. She prayed silently that Shuiichi would get over her death, and that Mamoru would be safe and loved all of his life. She could not beg to be forgiven for what she was about to do. There was no forgiveness for her crimes. There would never be forgiveness. She knew she would leave behind pain, but she couldn't last like this. The pain and sorrow would kill her quickly, either way, or turn her into a hopelessly lost shell of a person. She would not allow herself to become like that.  
  
Silently working, she tied the knot at the rafter that secured the rope. Still standing on the chair, she slipped the makeshift noose around her neck, her face now streaked with tears she didn't know she was still able to cry.  
  
My dear Shuiichi, and Mamoru-chan... please forgive me...  
  
~"The golden moonlight bleeding into the night sky... if there comes a day of judgement, judge just me. I can't be forgiven, I shouldn't be. I didn't turn back on the road towards crime, I just kept going on.."~  
  
Kikuno wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeves, closing her blue eyes. With a crack sound, she roughly shoved the chair out from under her, felt herself falling, a sharp pain, and then... nothing.  
  
Somewhere in the distance, her child burst out in tears.  
  
~"There was a way to avoid my current misery. My heart stopped the part of the heart that wished."~  
  
A scream. He scrambled down the hall, opening the door without bothering to knock. The room's occupant was curled up on his side in the bed, his arms holding his knees close to his chest, tears running down his cheeks. He looked so much like a little child.  
  
"Omi, daijobu ka?" Hidaka Ken asked, putting a hand on his smaller friend's shoulder. The one known as Tsukiyono Omi, formerly Takatori Mamoru, looked up at him with blue eyes bright with tears, his arms gently releasing their deathgrip on his knees.  
  
"I'm fine..." Omi said softly. "I just.. had a nightmare.."  
  
Ken smiled warmly at him, sitting down on the side of the bed, next to Omi, his hand still on his shoulder.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
~"I don't care if I get hurt, as long as I get shredded by the pains in my heart. If my love hurts me and only me... Even if all the punishment for the whole world was to pour on top of me.."~  
  
Watching her son hunt and kill another dark beast, somewhere in Heaven, an angel cried for the crime she could never forgive herself for.  
  
~"..I would still never be forgiven of my crime."~  
  
~owari~ 


End file.
